Get all 32 Avi C. Engel releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Too Many Souls, Sanguinaria, Undergrowth, Their Invisible Hands, The Cicada Session, Dressed in Borrowed Light, Ghost Bird, A New Skin, and 24 more.
1. |
O My Love is a Hurricane
03:53
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o my love is a hurricane
can't be collared or chained
o my life is a valley raped
by a storming rain
o my love is a hurricane
bruise the sky black, streaming
o my love is a hurricane
stirs wild the rivers of my veins
once i was strong and free
behold what's left of me
your strong arms bend the willow trees
hold what's left of me
o my love is a hurricane
can't be collared or chained
o my life is a valley raped
by a storming rain
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2. |
Appetite For Pain
03:58
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i have an appetite for pain
that's what you love about me
i have an appetite for pain
that's what you love about me
i bask like a lizard in your flame
that's what you love about me
i have an appetite for pain
that's what you love about me
you can feast in my eyes
i'll turn the other cheek to you
until my mouth streams crimson
you think i wanna be your dog
but i'm a hungry wolf
and your snares cut my ankles
but i have an appetite for pain
that's what you love about me
i have an appetite for pain
that's what you love about me
like a wrong-hearted jesus
i seek out a judas kiss
and the lashings of betrayal
are my sweetest blisses
i believe in tenderness it's true
but i want you to hurt me
so i can feel all the weakness left in you
and your tears as i cry wolf for mercy
i have an appetite for pain
that's what you love about me
i have an appetite for pain
that's what you love about me
you can feast in my eyes
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3. |
White Elephant
05:52
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i have no home in this world
some of god's gifts
can't be returned
tell the trouble-doll around your neck
that i'm the creature you can't kill
i have no home in this world
white elephant weeping
in a mansion ballroom bright
and when the party's over
she's cast out into the night
i have no home in this world
some of god's gifts
can't be returned
i have no home in this world
the slings and arrows have been cast
i hold out for the hope of tenderness
i've tied my body to the mast
and reeling through the stars
through heavens raped and torn apart
i have no home in this world
some of god's gifts can't be returned
i have no home in this world
in a mansion painted white
where all the gods are going blind
the morning fire scalpels slice
a landscape of blood and bone
what will be left when we're all gone
i have no home in this world
some of god's gifts can't be returned
tell the trouble-doll around your neck
that i'm the creature you can't kill
i have no home in this world
white elephant weeping
in a mansion ballroom bright
and when the party's over
she's cast out into the night
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4. |
How Many Horses
04:32
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how many horses til the end of the world?
how many rings til the starting of things?
how many strings til the hanging begins?
how many horses til the end of the world?
how can a heart made of wood feel love?
there's a gun in the oven
it's a rainy day
we were such happy little boys and girls
how many horses til the end of the world?
how many hits of blue until your rainbows end?
this line is old and used, i miss my beautiful friend
do your magic seigneur, wave your baton to the stars
lean up your ladder
let me climb up to mars
how many horses til the end of the world...
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5. |
O Sailor
04:14
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o sailor
o sailor
lower the sail
let us drift for a while
come have a glass of wine with me
sailor
sailor
lower the sail
let us drift for a while
come have a glass of wine with me
cause the nights get so long
and a traveler sometimes
he gets lonely
o sailor
o sailor
caler la voile
perdons-nous dans la nuit
viens boire un verre de vin avec moi
o sailor
o sailor
lower the sail, let us drift for a while
let me sit down on your knee
cause the nights get so long
and a traveler sometimes
he gets lonely...
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6. |
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margarita's got limousines
she's got ladies and gentlemen
getting down on their knees
she's got all kinds of lovers
you know what i mean
and she's the ugliest woman that you've ever seen
chorus lines of madelines
singing "if you want me baby
then you must be blind!"
chorus lines of madelines
sing "get in line"
"get in line!"
...
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7. |
Illuminate Me
05:01
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gash my soles
lead me bloody through the snow
smiling
illuminate me
gash my soles
lead me bloody through the snow
smiling
illuminate me
harness to this lunar soul
a sweat stained bloodied human groan
sweet blues and ache
and mouth to kiss
illuminate me
glorious
write my mother
say i'm coming home
i just couldn't make it in this world alone
homesick sailor on a bus
swollen mouth and none to kiss
blooms overgrown and overbled
my fever scorched mind
charred stiff and dead
illuminate me
sister silence swallows lust
let the rhythm break your jaw
let the summer eat your shame
illuminate me
illuminate me glorious
knock me up with golden dust
stone the one eyed cock of day
he's been shot down
a broken leg
my misery's too heavy mama
let it come down
born kicking and screaming
on the summer ground
illuminate me
curly haired cupid you can rest your head
the lovers lie together, dead
and i'm still a stranger to this place
so exterminate me with your kiss
illuminate me
glorious
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8. |
The Opium Song
04:45
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you've scattered pearls
over the desert sand
shining tears
that never can dissolve
night comes
light fades
and i crawl
gathering stones
heavy and clear as rain
wings of night
smother my cries
of thirst
in a silent burial
you've scattered pearls
you've scattered pearls
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9. |
Forsake You
04:06
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you're in my veins now
i can't leave you now
i've tried so hard
you don't know
to forsake you
to forsake you
though i can't bear you
and you waste me
when the rain comes
i let you in again
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10. |
Narcissus Mad For Power
04:36
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narcissus mad for power you've gone gone gone for the dead of center due night broken bank of time legs scissor i couldn't rise to power not without you baby never
narcissus mad for power smeared red lipstick on a mirror abandoned hallway staring from behind me was she a boy i can't remember
we rose rose hustlers born from the colourless heart of winter i know you you're half mad from hunger in a sundress bleach spoiled rotten were you born were you begotten in december
narcissus mad for power but no soul no soul inside her you can love me at your leisure and i won't bat an eyelash
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11. |
Hard To Get To Heaven
04:57
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dreaming of heaven in hospital white
sun bloodies my fingers and i open my eyes
miles of black highway spread open wide
lined with flaming torches
straw men hitching rides
it's hard to get to heaven tonight
it's hard to get to heaven tonight
i wish there was a way that i could hitch a ride
but i'm scared to sell my body
and my mind is losing its fire
all eyes on clocktowers
rolling wheels of time
are wrecked and rusted in the cloudy night
ashen snow
falls through the light
lands on my fingers
on my tongue and in my eyes
is it manna from heaven
it's so bitter and crystalline
it's hard to get to heaven tonight
it's hard to get to heaven tonight
i wish i was high
in a heavenly fury's eye
in a storm
i wish i was a golden sandcrab
crawling on the ocean's floor
then my tears wouldn't fall
and my blood wouldn't be warm
my tears wouldn't fall
and my blood wouldn't be warm
rock me to sleep, darling
keep me safe from harm
my blood is still warm
my blood is still warm
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12. |
Why For An Hour
05:51
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why for an hour
and never forever
why
for this one hour
i never felt better
yes to your violets
under this dark dark weather
why do i cry so
you say heaven is ours
when we stop asking
drinking rainwater
from your fine china
close my eyes
it's the nectar of stars
tangerine wine
revenants rising
on ashen horizons
tired hearts hold
in bodies long broken
see us coming over the hills
in droves
why do we cry so
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13. |
I Wear Your Coat
06:13
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i wear your coat
it makes me believe
you're still here with me
it keeps me warm
and all of my fragile kingdoms
from harm
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14. |
Do You Know How It Is?
06:11
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do you know how it is
when the sun shakes his fists
when you were sure it was going to rain
your sky set and ready for pain
do you know how it is?
do you know how it is
when the autumn colours undress
you watch the blood of every tree
fall in patches on the street
i just hate to hear them weep
do you know how it is?
do you know how it goes
when the one you wanted doesn't show
when the one you sang for doesn't come
instead a burst of feathers
and a bang from a gun
don't call for mother
she won't come
do you know how it is?
do you know how it glows
way in the nighttime where it snows
a park ranger and a ghost
dig a long black river through the undergrowth
do you know how it glows?
do you know how it goes
when the blackbird found the crow
and they weren't brothers anymore
so they traded mites
and kept their eyes
and sang a big black sadness
across the sky
do you know how it is?
do you know how it goes
you thought you'd never find where it glows
you thought you'd never learn how it goes
and now you awaken without any clothes
someone you've never been before
someone the world can never show you
do you know how it is?
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Avi C. Engel Toronto, Ontario
they/them
I'm not writing the same song over and over so much as writing one long
continuous song that will end when I die.
receive all new music in digital form: www.patreon.com/aviengel
... more
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