Get all 32 Avi C. Engel releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
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1. |
Break in the Sun
05:42
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greyhound station
i feel like a ghost
rootless desire
and dirty clothes
i'm lost in the stillness
i've spoken to no one
for days
break in the sun
til the sun breaks down
i sold my eyes
to a black market clown
the earth
she is screaming
a new plague
is dreaming
of hosts
o these bonds of love
bruised body
sea of blood
bedtime stories
a mother's love
the wolves are coming
my door
doesn't shut
break in the sun
til the sun
breaks down
break in the sun
til the sun
breaks down
break in the sun
til the sun
breaks down
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2. |
Ghost Opera
05:22
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cobra flower
bowl of ether
patriot birds
writhe in frigid
air
blind albino monkeys
fishing by a winter sea
they sing like ghouls
cave angel songs
cobra flower
bowl of ether
jackdaws and crows
are tangled in your hair
pulse in your pocket
your hot blood money
lets get out of these dead clothes
lets get inside
faithful lies
keep love alive
faithful lies
keep love alive
bruised place is speechless
hipless
breastless
faceless
ghost opera
ringing in my eyes
and lighting torches
down
my
spine
faithful lies keep love alive...
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3. |
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the beauty of your design
brilliant light extinguish the mind
sew needles through the eyes
i'll fashion you dreams
to fill up the night
all your memories are mine
like frozen bodies
of butterflies
one day i'll let them fly
into the dark
the hinges of your lovely spine
must be oiled from time to time
i promise not to leave you out in the garden
when it rains
i don't long for anything
but when i look at you i dream
of every past
i've ever invented
when time cracks this frail design
gather me up love
i'm going blind
and you can leave me out in the garden
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4. |
To Be Without
04:05
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I don't want mercy to be mild
I want mercy to defile
The one that cuts my roses down
Is the one that I'm loving
I don't want mercy to be sweet
I want the sting of your deceit
The one that drags my pride on its knees
Is the one that I'm loving
I don't want mercy to be kind
I want the dregs, the bones, the rind
Sour apple, kiss of spite
I want to regret you
All I want tonight
Is to be without
Is to be let out
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5. |
Old Fashioned Love
03:32
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I want to dress you up
I want to take you out
I want to show you off
O my old fashioned love
O my old fashioned love...
I want to take you on
up against that cold brick wall
I want to feel you up
O my old fashioned love
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6. |
Madagascar
04:59
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an angel from madagascar
picked me up in a motorcar
we filled our bodies
up with stars
now we're iridescent in the dark
now our mothers don't know who we are
but i love my angel from madagascar
an angel from the slums of tangiers
whispered a rancid lovesong in my ears
and filled my memory up
with her tears
an angel from a dead sea dawn
lashed my skin with a branch of palm
and told me to love isn't just
to disarm
you could take me down
with one touch
of your scorn
your kiss like a whip
your caress full of thorns
desire desirous
pleasure that tears itself apart
an angel from madagascar
picked me up in a motorcar
we got drunk in the moonlight
threw knives, and bloodied the stars
it was fun, i'd do it again
but that night it rained
i caught a fever and died
night swallowed me up
and when i opened my eyes
it was all a dream
but there's a star in the palm of my eye
so take me down with one touch of your scorn
your kiss like a whip
your caress full of thorns
desire desirous
pleasure that tears itself
apart
an angel from madagascar
picked me up in a motorcar
we filled our bodies
up with stars
now we're iridescent in the dark
now our mothers don't know who we are
but i love my angel from madagascar
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7. |
I Have No Words
03:40
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i cannot douse my words in flame
or fasten them with wings and chains
so i have no words for you
so i have no words
i cannot rip them at the seam
make them weaken, turn pale, and bleed
so i have no words for you
so i have no words
i can't make them archers in your sky
to pierce the marrow of your mind's eye
so i have no word for you
so i have no words
if i could douse my words in flame
i'd make a bonfire of the worlds i name
i'd make a bonfire of the stakes i claim
i'd melt down this mirror
and then i'd come clean
see how this silence is wounding me
but i have no words
i have no words
my words are stones cast into the sea
the sun beats down dispassionately
everything is still beneath
and i have no words
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8. |
Not My Child
04:16
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you are not my child
i can't protect you
i know you'll run so wild
and i'll have to let you
if i burdened you
know that i never meant
to bind or tie you down
and i've cut every ribbon now
i know i'd let you drown
if i swam to meet you
the tide is rising now
and i'll have to let you go
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9. |
Lick My Fins
04:30
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let the holy spirit lick my fins
i want to crawl back to the ocean
for you
lose my limbs and my lungs
my agility of tongue
for you
i want to crawl back to the ocean
for you
there are ways and ways and ways and ways
to win
but i can kill that very notion
if my losing delights you
if my losing excites you
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10. |
Angelus Bells
05:33
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angelus bells hover over your eyes
tidal wash wrecks a bright city night
as your light comes in from passage dark and deep
where have you been?
where have you been?
angelus bells kiss our loved ones goodnight
as we fall through the silver sieves in the sky
there are whales and great birds
petrified in the light
bury the bones
grant us strength to stay blind
grant us strength to stay blind
angelus bells hover over your eyes
tidal wash wrecks a bright city night
but morning has come
you can open your eyes
look to the sun
all the roads s/he has cried
follow one
til you're blind
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11. |
Blind Me
07:15
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blind me to what has seduced me
hold me down as long as it takes
for these shivers to subside
for these illuminations to die
for these scintillant onyx fires
to blind me
blind me to what has seduced me
numb me to what i have touched
i know that i got just what i asked for
i didn't know that i'd asked for this much
blind me to what has seduced me
bind all my joys one by one
shackle my blisses and burn them
every bright feather returning to dust
bloody echoes down the walls of these prisons
of our bodies
as wings torn
from a dove
fly on deep into the ether
o lord
how this house turns to dust
bloody echoes down the walls of these prisons
in your chest
trapped a wounded dove
always hungry for vengeance
or for mercy
always yearning
to return to dust
protect me from all my desire
numb me to the one i love
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12. |
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believe me if all your endearing young charms
should change by tomorrow and fleet in my arms
but no i can't strip the sun of its rays
or you of your charms
so let flesh dress my bones
til i'm only bone
then incinerate bone
but let flesh dress my bones
for now
a shiver of a gong
a voice shuddering apart
i was dissolved in a lake
it was bloody and it was hard and i cried
for the lady in the moon
for the monster who cut out my tongue
for my mother and my father and the sun going down
but let flesh dress my bones
til i'm only bone
then incinerate bone
but let flesh dress my bones
for now
now we're on a ship
and the machinery screams
the captain says we're really going down
i've gone deaf
or i've fallen in love
trouble begins
with water and blood
with sweat and seed
and beads of broken light
so many prisms
so many spasms in this life
we smash our bliss with hammers
godhead swells
my love is a chorus
of murderous bells
an army of unborn children
to mourn
i want to bury my teeth
in a chamber in your heart
i want it all
i want to be forsaken
i want to be set apart
i want to be set free
in a meadow of stars
my love is a chorus of murderous bells...
but the wind beats down my sails
you're in the dirt under my nails
autumn chokes summer
and brother
he does it well
my love is a chorus of murderous bells
believe me if all
your endearing young charms
should change by tomorrow
and fleet in my arms
but no i can't strip the sun of its rays
or you of your charms
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13. |
The Sailor's Choice
02:14
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Avi C. Engel Toronto, Ontario
they/them
I'm not writing the same song over and over so much as writing one long
continuous song that will end when I die.
receive all new music in digital form: www.patreon.com/aviengel
... more
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