Get all 32 Avi C. Engel releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
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1. |
To Keep the Ghost at Bay
05:44
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I’ve been trying
to be brave
to keep the ghost
at bay
I tried to feed you
starve you
sing for you
locked you out on the coldest night
but here you are again
hollow eye sockets filling with light
I’ve been trying
to behave
to keep the ghost at bay
memory rises up like smoke
and falls in a full-blooded tide
ossified forest
floods with life
fly away with me
this tired old world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be
no pumpkin caravan
no magical seed
no spacecraft glowing in the moonlit trees
let’s find a new way to see
we still have our eyes
we can still breathe
I’ve been trying
to be brave
to keep the ghost
at bay
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2. |
Oiseau Rebelle
05:05
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our selves
burn
our leaves
turn
remind me of who I was
can a songbird ever change its tune?
our cells
change
our hells
bloom
sea of dead languages
swell of white noise
and red roses
laps at your teeth
but you cannot speak
sign of life
ascend
descend
rewind
have you ever heard the story
of the blind mole
under the starry night?
(neither have I)
our selves
burn
our leaves
turn
remind me of who I was
can a songbird ever change its tune?
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3. |
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ancient horse
preserved in ice
returns to life
under scalpel cold
forensic light
your flickering eye
nerves electric and alive
recall forests deep and a glittering sky
you never ate an apple from a hand
never blinkered or saddled
or raced to death
once upon a time
you died
for a long long long time
what is time?
what am I?
worlds go by
carved up and flatlined
ancient horse
preserved in ice
returns to life
under scalpel cold
forensic light
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4. |
Baby Alligators
04:19
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baby alligators
hatching under the stars
all the love songs never written
sung by skeletons
in an underground mall
still-life in a laundromat
cold fluorescent glow
news station static
and a burning world
where there’s nothing to be sure of
nothing to hold
in silence we fold our fading clothes
baby alligators
hatching under the stars
all the love songs never written
sung by skeletons
in an underground mall
at an all-night diner
dead stars meet for old times’ sake
drink black coffee under a full moon
can’t sleep or stay awake
this beast, it has no number
this feeling can’t be named
do the twist
the whole soul shakedown
in the maw of a hurricane
baby alligators
hatching under the stars
all the love songs never written
sung by skeletons
in an underground mall
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5. |
Any Creature
06:17
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any creature who loves
dilating eye
opening mouth
any creature who loves
flutter of wings
quiver of gills
a bruising
a blessing of bells
tiding of magpies
in a snow white field
am I the kindling,
am I the flame?
the darkening sky,
the gutter of rain?
any creature who loves
dilating eye
opening mouth
any creature who loves
flutter of wings
quiver of gills
I fell asleep in a fallow field
magpies ferry my eyes
to a greener world
vale of frozen time
I try to walk beside you
but I always wake up too soon
any creature who loves
dilating eye
opening mouth
any creature who loves
flutter of wings
quiver of gills
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6. |
Old Feathered Devil
08:42
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time is a putty
in your grizzled claw
old feathered devil you are
you’ve been kind to me before
so throw me a good scrap
I’m a hungry wolf
let me out of this cage
let me run around the glowing lake
until the morning comes
and I’ll be on my way
I saw a sunbeam caught in a snare
rescued it with my bare hands
all I got was a third degree burn
and a terrible fear of daylight
let me out of this cage
let me run around the glowing lake
until the morning comes
and I’ll be on my way
the noonday demon stops by for tea
with the old feathered devil and me
we play blind man’s bluff and charades
as the sun creeps away and rises again
let me out of this cage
let me run around the glowing lake
until the morning comes
and I’ll be on my way
old feathered devil
eat out my heart
I’ll pick a ripe new one
before it gets dark
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7. |
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there’s a snow angel in the oven
dark curtains undulate like wings
you wear your chains so well, my dear
they gleam and sway
and sing
what time is it in Moscow?
what time is it in Spain?
it’s seven minutes past sunrise here
and a black cat waits for a train
there’s an ice changeling in the cradle
the clocks are all bursting into flame
you won’t sell me on a higher plane
or some rarefied and holy brand of pain
what time is it in Moscow?
what time is it in Spain?
it’s seven minutes past sunrise here
and a black cat waits for a train
there’s a sapling growing through the floorboards
soon it’s going to break through the ceiling
you never once dreamed
when you dropped that tiny seed
of this beast reaching for heaven even as you sleep
what time is it in Moscow?
what time is it in Spain?
it’s seven minutes past sunrise here
and a black cat waits for a train
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8. |
Little Blue Fox
05:39
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little blue fox with eyes of amber
you circle my house in the morning before I rise
you circle my bones in the morning before I rise
my heart is so heavy
your feet barely touch the earth
little blue fox with eyes of amber
one day I’ll wake up early and I’ll follow you
to a valley beyond all nightmares and dreams and rules
where there’s nothing to carry and no one to bury
where the sky is vermilion and the grasses are laughing
one day I’ll wake up early and I’ll follow you
little blue fox with eyes of amber
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9. |
The Indifference of Fire
08:19
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what happens now?
the mystery will carry on without me
there are gifts along the shore
you’ve got to search under every stone
let dirt seep into your blood
a sack of moonbeams on your back
sometimes it gets so heavy
what happens now?
the mystery will carry on without me
shake off your cobwebs everyday
go outside even when it rains
let your pastures go to seed
flower and fade
fences decay
what happens now?
the mystery will carry on without me
with the indifference of fire
and the weightlessness of smoke
pulses ebb and flow
dawn chorus fades
what happens now?
the mystery will carry on without me
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Avi C. Engel Toronto, Ontario
they/them
I'm not writing the same song over and over so much as writing one long
continuous song that will end when I die.
receive all new music in digital form: www.patreon.com/aviengel
... more
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